T h e G a r b a g e D i a r i e s

theory

Godel - 10:52 p.m. , 2009-03-22 awake - 8:31 p.m. , 2008-08-20 Auspicious Omens - 3:06 p.m. , 2007-07-19 the never - 12:03 p.m. , 2007-07-18 vbs - 855788 , dfbhhj Main Entry: plas�tic�i�ty Pronunciation: pla-'sti-s&-tE Function: noun Date: circa 1783 1 : the quality or state of being plastic; especially : capacity for being molded or altered 2 : the ability to retain a shape attained by pressure deformation 3 : the capacity of organisms with the same genotype to vary in developmental pattern, in phenotype, or in behavior according to varying environmental conditions NOOER

ten thousand moos industrial cream cheese. proust, proust and more proust. and lots of catching of baseballs. and questions, like: what makes that painting good? excellent. and cleaning kitchens, listening to the radio, really connecting with some of the lyrics, especially those of Stained. i used to think such utterances rather self-indulgent until i came to discover my own interior graveyards. now i'm beginning to understand why those bands are so popular with a certain sub-set of people. The melancholics seem to bond... perhaps because they have a shared experience, a similar outlook, fighting similar battles. thought today: who *I* am is actually a series of electrical circuits through my brain and body. when the big D hits, it saps the brain cells' ability to keep enough neurotransmitters in the synapses to continue the old patterns of circuits lit up that *I* use to be *ME*... which might explain why decisions and thought and motion become so difficult. *I* can't "snap out of it" because the original *I* is only half there. (feels like it, anyway)*I* am a little piece of the universe, aware of a little piece of the universe... and dimly aware of the rest through reports from astronomy magazines, photos, etc. but as the neurotransmitters get fewer and fewer, there is less *ME* operating the brain, looking for ways to jolt *MYSELF* out of a lower basin state of equilibrium. the mania could well be a learned response, a coping mechanism to escape the monster... a higher basin state achieved that ultimately gets flipped back down when lack of sleep, exhaustion, dire consequences trigger more reuptake. anyway, gotta go to bed. previous - next wicked old stuff The voices in my head say I should tell you the following for the sake of your meritorious karma: Whether authored by Plasticity or Set Phen, all works are the sole possession of the physical entity "Stephen Rowe", Copyright 2002-2009 almost. Physical reproduction of the works herein is prohibited except with prior written permission from Set Phen or Plasticity. Memorization and dramatic representation in the ancient oral tradition is, however, highly encouraged. many thanks and good thoughts to diaryland